I owe you guys an apology. I’m a total fake. I’m not sure if I have just realized this or if I have known all along and just hidden it away. But I’m a fake and a phony. I’ve been calling myself the “dramafreemama” all this time… and it’s just simply not accurate or true. Because I’m a mom. And all you other moms out there know– if you’re a mama, (or you have one), you’ve got drama. Kids are little, life-sucking, purveyors of drama. You’ve got drama at every turn, every meal, every bedtime… life as a parent is pretty much a continuous theatrical production.
And there’s all sorts…
“You threw away my favorite crayon- you’re so mean” drama. –Never mind the fact that it was broken in two places and the only thing you have colored in three months is my picture window.
“I’m huuungrrrryyy…. except I don’t want any of the 19 things you’ve just offered me to eat” drama. This one is best reciprocated with “You don’t have to like it, you just have to eat it” drama. Or my personal favorite… “Just take 3 more bites” drama.
“He/she took my stickers/truck/barbie/fruit snacks/marker/soul” drama. –Anything and everything was always the property of a toddler first and fairly. Any second possessor is a damned thief. Thems the rules.– Employing the “If you can’t share it, nobody can have it” method will ultimately just increase the decibel level of the drama rather than squash it. Tread carefully.
Furthermore– I cried yesterday because my laundry hamper is heaped up taller than my three year old. Like a lot taller. And then, said three year old let the dog in the house caked with mud. And then I dropped a jar of minced garlic in the kitchen floor. And then I sneezed twice (cleaning up the garlic) and peed my pants. And so I cried again. Dramatic enough for you?
And so you see… the “dramafreemama” has got drama. Every day. So by “dramafree,” I guess what I mean is I don’t need YOUR drama. Because I have plenty of my own.
This is my confession. Submitted in all seriousness.