Funny things people say…

I’ve been a lover of language all my life. Language is powerful. Language is a beautiful contradiction, capable of both bringing people together and tearing them apart. Language is the key to societal progress, and has always been so. All of these things are why I made language my life’s work– teaching high school students to manipulate language to communicate their ideas effectively and to analyze those of others.  Also because it’s funny.

Ever notice how speech patterns and norms change over time? As in, we no longer describe things we look upon favorably as “bitchin'” or “far out.” The way people speak is also dependent on generation and locale. For example, I have teenagers tell me daily, “You trippin.” Yes, dear loves, I… trippin. But, to me, the funniest things people say are not colloquialisms, but rather things never intended to even have special meaning, nor be funny. It’s just shit we say. Some of them are space fillers. Some of them are precursors or disclaimers. Here are some of my personal favorites.

Correct me if I’m wrong…This is typically uttered before a point someone is about to make when they fully believe that they are, indeed, not wrong. Nobody really wants to be corrected, especially if they are wrong. If we said what we really meant, we’d say “I think you’re wrong and here’s why…”

No offense, but… This is especially funny because it is almost always followed by something that is, in fact, offensive, at least to someone– and likely intentionally so. So why do we say no offense to begin with? Some sort of “Now you can’t be mad because I prefaced my shitty statement with no offense” tactic?  No offense, but just say what you mean, and mean what you say, and you shan’t worry. Yeah, I said shan’t… what?

Bless her heart… Much like “no offense,” this one is intended to be a ‘Get out of Jail FREE’ card. We Southerners blessed you with it, so yer’ kindly welcome. Here’s how it works… You can say whatever you want about another person, no matter how mean or hateful, as long as you precede or follow it with these 3 simple words. As in, “Bless her heart, she can’t help being ugly, but she could have stayed home.” Or, “Don’t you know she’s as smart as a sack of hammers, bless her heart.”

I know right… This is space filler. What the speaker really means is: “I don’t really have anything to add, I just want you to feel like what you just said is valid and that I’m actually participating in the conversation with you.” Pretty awesome. I know, right?

Just sayin… I am just about over this snarky little gem, though guilty of its use myself. It’s appeal is that it seems to fit pretty much any verbal situation, and it is wildly contagious. But when I hear it over and over, I just want to say “Sweetie, you just SAID. IT. So saying “just sayin” right after is like farting and then saying, “just farted.” Okay. Thanks for letting me know. Ass. Just sayin’.

I’m not trying to be racist… I’m not going to go near this one, other than to say that when I hear it, I am usually inclined to think that you are racist. And you admittedly don’t even have to try. Bless your heart.

Odds are, we are all guilty of some of these at least occasionally. It’s part of what makes us talky humans. What are some of your favorite funny (even if accidentally funny) expressions?

Advertisements

About dramafreemama

I am a wife, homeowner, teacher, sister, pet-owner, and friend...But the most humbling and moving role in my life to date is that of a mother, or better yet, a MOMMY. We live in a rural area of Virginia and we keep it simple. This blog is about juggling life in all these different roles. Please subscribe/follow and ENJOY!
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Funny things people say…

  1. Nick says:

    No offense, but you trippin’.

  2. A new favorite to add… “Thanks in advance…”
    Presumptuous are we?

    • Mary Amici says:

      I am so busted for “thanks in advance”….and I stopped myself from closing a work email with those exact sentiments after reading your blog the other day (pre-seeing this comment). Sheesh! :S Nice work on the blog, btw! PS: Your big sister rocks!! The bookend sister, that is. 🙂

  3. Mary says:

    I agree!!! I need to meet-up with D2 for lunch soon & campaign for that! 😉 fabulous!

  4. Sam Baham says:

    One of my personal favorites….”Just sayin”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s