Eating words… and cheetos.

Caution! 7 months pregnant and possessing answers to all parenting problems.

 

It’s funny how you have all these mental designs of the kind of parent you will be long before you become one. It never crosses your pre-momma mind that you cannot determine your parenting tactics/style before you meet the individual to which they will be applied! You have all these lofty ideas of baby sign language and organic spinach and cloth diapers and whatnot. Not to mention what you swear you will never <ever> allow your child to have, watch or do… ie. Cheetos, Nickelodeon, sleep in your bed. I cannot count the words I have had to chow on since our household was increased by one, but let’s just say it’s been a daily buffet. I prefer to call them word cookies. Tasty.

 

Twenty months ago, I had very uninformed ideas and images of how parenting must be done. Probably almost to the point of judgey, finger pointy behavior toward other moms who weren’t doing it the way I envisioned. Since then, I have very quickly learned that despite careful planning and promises of greatness, good moms employ the “Whatever Works” tactic more often than not. And I have learned to accept these instances as simply that… instances. Instances in which I changed my mind, abandoned the plan, and did what I had to do to make our day easier. Even if that means bribery with a tootsie-pop in a department store. <guilty>ย  He was quiet for 16 whole minutes and I found the perfect bra. Don’t judge me.

Here are some of the narrow-minded promises I made in the months before Zachary was born…before I had a clue.

The promise–> Zac is not going to have any formula until he is at least 6 months old.

Reality–> Similac+gerber rice cereal= 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Done.

The promise–> Zac is only going to sleep in his own crib or cradle.

Reality–> Zac finally fell asleep. If you move him, or even fart hard in this room, you’ll die today.

Shhhhh...

The promise–> I am never going to allow Zac to watch “Spongebob Squarepants” or any of that other crude garbage on T.V. these days. Only PBS and Sprout.

Reality–> I held fast to this claim… that is, until I saw him boogie like a little, old, fat man to the “pineapple under the sea” tune. Too cute not to make a regular occurrence. Honestly, not my fault.

The promise–> Zac is going to eat something from each food group every day.

Reality–> Zac is not going to eat (much of) the cat’s food today.

The promise–> I’m not going to bribe my child with sweets/goodies.

Reality–> Zac’s 1st real phrase was ice-cream cone. Also note tootsie-pop bra shopping confession in paragraph 2.

Zac's 1st cake... it's been a slippery slope since this day.


My final, and probably favorite, promise–> I’m going to read a chapter a day of What to Expect in the First Year and just nap when Zac naps so I don’t get exhausted.

Reality–>HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Wasn’t I cute?

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About dramafreemama

I am a wife, homeowner, teacher, sister, pet-owner, and friend...But the most humbling and moving role in my life to date is that of a mother, or better yet, a MOMMY. We live in a rural area of Virginia and we keep it simple. This blog is about juggling life in all these different roles. Please subscribe/follow and ENJOY!
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10 Responses to Eating words… and cheetos.

  1. BecauseMamaSaidSo says:

    I think I made all those same promises too! With the exception of spongebob and the “garbage” cartoons. My girls run screaming, saying “mommy, the bad cartoons are on! Change it change it” funny how it’s all different now. I think I did really good if I get mine to eat a full meal a day ๐Ÿ˜‰

  2. Crystal says:

    Haha I have the same Spongebob promise…so far so good! So excited about Disney Junior becoming its own channel. ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. Heather Cadorette says:

    I’m am not qualified to comment on this . Suffice it to say that the dog now eats the forbidden canned food. Hey, he’ll eat it and not leave it to rot and go hungry like he will with kibble. Have you seen him lately? He looks fabulous, daaaaah-ling!

  4. Amanda says:

    Stopping by from the Bloggy Moms Blog Hop! I love this post!! I’m totally in the same boat!

    • There was a similar article on the huffington post a few days ago… I didn’t know whether to feel elated that I’m not alone, or feel crushed b/c my exact sentiments, even similar format, are published on huffpo by someone else. Ha!

  5. Stephanie says:

    I remember before I had Jeremiah I had those sentiments. Like, he will get a bath every night and eat vegetables for every meal. By the time Lillian came along I have decided that if they are somewhat sanitary, I am doing my job. We put too much pressure on ourselves with stuff that doesn’t really matter!

    • I think we all tell ourselves how perfect we are going to be at something we’ve never tried. It’s called don’t know crap syndrome. LOL. I am totally fascinated by your juice fast… tell me, after 14 days, is it a weight loss strategy or just torture? I admire your will power. I want to be healthier, but not as much as i want to eat this reeses egg.

  6. Mary says:

    Here, here! I was just sharing some of the words I ate after my first born (pre-birth cookies) with a friend taking on this motherhood adventure for the first time… Like, “I don’t plan on taking any pain meds during labor…I will play it by ear & try to give birth naturally”. Ha! If you want to enjoy the experience & bliss of welcoming your newborn…then graciously accept help when you really need it. Happy calm mommy = happy calm baby & birth experience in general. That’s my policy. ๐Ÿ™‚

    On the TV front (my boys are now 10 & 14), the broken promise was “we will not get sucked into watching “Barney” & “The Wiggles”….. Yet were admittedly excited to buy tickets to see “the Wiggles” on tour in 2004 with our then 3 & 7 year olds. Don’t judge me. That show was AMAZING fun & I was devastated when Greg (yellow t-shirt) left the group years later for health reasons. I will go to my grave singing the lyrics to “toot toot, chugga chugga, big red car” & have absolutely no regrets! ๐Ÿ™‚

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