It’s funny how you have all these mental designs of the kind of parent you will be long before you become one. It never crosses your pre-momma mind that you cannot determine your parenting tactics/style before you meet the individual to which they will be applied! You have all these lofty ideas of baby sign language and organic spinach and cloth diapers and whatnot. Not to mention what you swear you will never <ever> allow your child to have, watch or do… ie. Cheetos, Nickelodeon, sleep in your bed. I cannot count the words I have had to chow on since our household was increased by one, but let’s just say it’s been a daily buffet. I prefer to call them word cookies. Tasty.
Twenty months ago, I had very uninformed ideas and images of how parenting must be done. Probably almost to the point of judgey, finger pointy behavior toward other moms who weren’t doing it the way I envisioned. Since then, I have very quickly learned that despite careful planning and promises of greatness, good moms employ the “Whatever Works” tactic more often than not. And I have learned to accept these instances as simply that… instances. Instances in which I changed my mind, abandoned the plan, and did what I had to do to make our day easier. Even if that means bribery with a tootsie-pop in a department store. <guilty> He was quiet for 16 whole minutes and I found the perfect bra. Don’t judge me.
Here are some of the narrow-minded promises I made in the months before Zachary was born…before I had a clue.
The promise–> Zac is not going to have any formula until he is at least 6 months old.
Reality–> Similac+gerber rice cereal= 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Done.
The promise–> Zac is only going to sleep in his own crib or cradle.
Reality–> Zac finally fell asleep. If you move him, or even fart hard in this room, you’ll die today.
The promise–> I am never going to allow Zac to watch “Spongebob Squarepants” or any of that other crude garbage on T.V. these days. Only PBS and Sprout.
Reality–> I held fast to this claim… that is, until I saw him boogie like a little, old, fat man to the “pineapple under the sea” tune. Too cute not to make a regular occurrence. Honestly, not my fault.
The promise–> Zac is going to eat something from each food group every day.
Reality–> Zac is not going to eat (much of) the cat’s food today.
The promise–> I’m not going to bribe my child with sweets/goodies.
Reality–> Zac’s 1st real phrase was ice-cream cone. Also note tootsie-pop bra shopping confession in paragraph 2.
My final, and probably favorite, promise–> I’m going to read a chapter a day of What to Expect in the First Year and just nap when Zac naps so I don’t get exhausted.
Reality–>HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Wasn’t I cute?
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