I’d hate for my friends/readers to think I was losing my edge…so here’s a new set of Thank yous that don’t belong on the Hallmark channel.
A special thanks to the parent of a most charming eleventh grader for having a kick-ass ring-back tone for me to jam to while I’m waiting for you to not answer. Your affinity for Lil’ Wayne speaks to your child’s lack of role model, and likely is why I have to call you in the first place. Keep up the good work.
Thank you, 19 year old (with 2 children) behind me in line at the grocery store, for glaring at me and my coupon folder… Maybe if I didn’t have to fund your groceries, I wouldn’t need to pinch a penny for mine. By the way, your 2 inch acrylic airbrushed nails are simply dazzling.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, shoebuy.com! I was so excited to receive your E-mail notifying me that the black boots I’ve been coveting since November are marked down 70% today only, and right after payday! It’s FATE! Oh wait… you have a 5.5W and a 12M left. Lemme call Tinkerbell and Sasquatch and see if you can help THEM.
Thanks, Pinterest, for making me feel fat and poorly dressed. Also for making my house seem like a disheveled dump and my dinner seem unappealing. Alas, like any abusive relationship, I just don’t know how to quit you.
And a final thank you… to the makers of Sesame Street sing-a-long DVDs– for including in the intro to the songs my child desperately wants to hear RIGHT NOW… 47 previews I cannot bypass. Someone on your team ought to realize the dire need to have Elmo’s Song a little sooner than this allows. Clearly you don’t have children. This is why YouTube has crushed your sales. XOXO- Zac’s Mom & Dad