I hesitate to use the word “relieved” to describe my feelings when I spotted a little baby winkie on the gray, fuzzy ultrasound screen yesterday… but the sound “SHEW!” might have quietly escaped me… probably only noticeable because I was previously holding my breath. And sweating. Little girls are beautiful gifts from God and daddy’s reason for breathing… and their clothes are waaaay more fun. I get all that. But I’m a “Boy Mom.” I don’t need to clearly define this for other boy moms… but for the rest of you, allow me to elaborate. But not much, because boys are simple that way.
Mud up to your neck and a frog in your pocket? No prob. That’s why we have a garden hose– now march your hind parts back outside.
Emotional crisis over missing Barbie shoe? I don’t know how to tell you that mommy vacuumed it up because she knows you have 212 of them and didn’t want to bend down. Please try to cope with 211.
Ice cream down the front of your polo? It’s cool- we have 19 more and you don’t care if it perfectly matches. Or even fits.
Can’t wear this jumper because the “bow doesn’t go” and Hello Kitty is so last season? Get a grip and a job, then we’ll talk season. Kisses!
Trains, trucks, tractors, & rubber dinosaurs. Aaah simplicity…
Bratz™, Monster High™ (tramps), Various dolls that piss. Hmmm.
Teenage boys who open the door for their mother…
Teenage girls who slam it in their face.
Tux rental… WHOLE FRICKEN WEDDING.
One penis to worry about… ALLLL the penises to worry about.
So it may be true that for the time being with a house full of little boy stuff, I am run a little more ragged. I clean up bigger messes. And I have less fun shopping. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m a BOY MOM.
**DISCLAIMER** I am well aware that not all girls are prisspots. And not all of them turn into evil teenage bitches. (Ok most of then do that, admit it.) I’m simply sharing some levity about the joys of mothering boys, rocks in my washing machine and all… So if your britches are all in a bunch because you know how awesome your daughter is, pipe down. I know girls come with their magic too! I am one, remember?