Well, it’s here. The end. The finale. The last day of summer. And my feelings on this are as mixed as… um… something really mixed. (Mai Tais? Pancake batter? Obama?)
First of all, I know I am more than blessed to have a job that gives me 9 weeks off, paid. And it has been a summer full of all kinds of fun– We have slept, cartooned, beached, pooled, parked, rivered, zooed, biked, triked, wagoned, ice-creamed, and PLAYED ourselves silly. We’ve logged a lot of quality family hours, which is really important to me. And it’s hard to walk away from that life and go back to 5:15 wake-ups and strict routines, complete with paperwork, deadlines, and bosses.
But, this summer has not been without its challenges. Ever since our end of June beach trip, Zac decided that his own bed is inadequate (in favor of mine, of course), and that 11pm is a far more suitable bedtime. HOORAY for being 2! This has eliminated any sliver of “us” time my husband and I were ever able to squeeze in at all, as he leaves at 9:45 for his 3rd shift job. Not to mention I missed a whole season of Pretty Little Liars. Yes, I’m serious. Don’t judge me. This WILL be remedied soon. I am hoping the required early wake-ups and back-to-business schedule will whip him back into shape… fingers crossed. Though it seems unnatural to welcome waking up early. UGH!
My summer was also colored a few shades darker by the loss of my stepfather on July 6th. It has been one of the hardest things our family has ever endured. Although I am so proud of my mom and sisters for continuing to pick up the pieces and live life, this loss will continue to rock our family, with each passing event that Dan is simply not there for. I look for him anyway. And I can’t tell you how many tasteless jokes I have automatically started to forward to him, knowing he’d be just as inappropriately amused as I was. And I still look over to the parking lot of his former job when I drive by, just to see if I can spot him. It’s like you forget for a minute, but it’s on purpose. It’s excruciating when you remember by accident. Some of my friends have also suffered devastating losses this summer, and sometimes it seems like there are just not enough hugs (or shots of vodka?) to go around. The suddenness. The permanence. It hurts. It sucks. I’m not over it. So in a way, this summer just needs to be over. Something I have never wished for in my life.
So the start of a new school year, like every year, is a clean slate. A fresh start. An open door. (Insert your favorite refreshing cliche here.) And although I don’t feel “ready” to give up summer and all the extra time with my little boy, I welcome fall weather, football games, pumpkin spice lattes, and clean notebooks. I look forward to bonfires, chili, school plays, and hugs from former students.
So let the countdown to Christmas begin!
PS- I think I wrote pretty much this exact same post last September. But funnier because no one died.
Aaaand you’re weclome…